Dentist vs. Delivery

Went to the dentist today, and while I have a wonderfully talented un-sadistic one, I still HATE it.  The thought crossed my mind that I would rather be in labor than stay there to have holes drilled in my teeth.  That started a mental distraction of comparing the two, which may have been God’s answer to my prayer to “Just get me through this, please.”

 

So, without further ado-

Top Ten Similarities of Having a Baby and Having Dental Work

10. Most people want some form of pain control.

  • In my case, the epidural with Bug only took on my left side, and today they had to stick me 5 times to get the right nerve.  I’m wired all sorts of crazy.  One time the anesthesia numbed my eye and not my teeth.

9. You’re inevitably hungry afterward and have limited menu options.

  • Can’t chew much after dental work, and you are at the mercy of the hospital cafeteria after the birth unless you have nice family members.

8. When you walk into the room, there is a daunting display of sharp silver instruments lined up on blue paper.

  • Whether you realize it or not, that blue paper winds up with red splotches all over it in both places.

7. Relaxation techniques are helpful if you can remember how to do one.

  • Friend, “Just go to your happy place.”
  • Me, “I don’t know where that is!!!”
  • Friend, “Try Orlando.” (She knows me well.)

6. There’s a high likelihood some part of your body will stay unpleasantly numb afterward.

5.  Lots of stretching and pulling going on.

4. You can never adequately see what is being done to you.

  • (And that’s probably a good thing.)

3. The person whose face you desperately search for signs of hope/terror is always covered with a mask and goggles.

  • I think they also practice not showing any emotion.  Seriously, is that a class offered in your medical degree plan, Stoicism 101?

2.  You’re going to “feel some pressure”.

1. They can’t get anything done until you “Open a bit wider, please.”

 

The main difference is that with labor you are handed a beautiful sweet child who makes it all worthwhile, and with the dentist, you are handed a bill.

Here’s hoping the home birth I’m planning this time will have few, if any, similarities.

Advertisements

1 Comment

Filed under Birth Stories, Other Ramblings

One response to “Dentist vs. Delivery

  1. Thompson, Angela

    Funny if it wasn’t so true. My dentist many years back told me, most people may get one shot but I have to have two or three because my nerves are not in the right place. Sorry sweetheart – you must have inherited from me! Love you! XOXOXOX

What would you like to add?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s